


That would be enough

by swallowthewhale



Series: Lemon Dreams [27]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: But nothing too overt, Crisis on earth x, mentions of nazis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 07:53:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12883413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swallowthewhale/pseuds/swallowthewhale
Summary: Caitlin misses Ronnie, and she misses her best friend, too.Some missing Cisco and Caitlin moments from the crossover. Thank you, writers, for finally remembering they're besties.





	That would be enough

 

0

Caitlin bumps shoulders with Cisco at the buffet table, where he’s staring at the food blankly as if he’s not sure what he’s supposed to be doing.

“Hey.”

He glances over at her, the creases in his forehead clearing as he smiles. “Hey. You look nice.”

Caitlin fights the urge to duck her head. “Thanks. You do too, Mr. I hate suits.” She tweaks the lapel of his jacket.

Cisco half-shrugs, cheeks turning pink. “I couldn’t exactly wear a t-shirt for my best friend’s wedding.”

Caitlin glares at him in mock-indignation. “You wore one to mine!”

He throws his hands up. “It was last minute! I didn’t have time to change!”

She laughs and squeezes his elbow. “I know.”  Suddenly, the thought of Ronnie and her own wedding makes her heart lurch and her smile turn bitter.

Cisco frowns. “You okay?”

Caitlin sighs and leans against him for a moment. “It’s not like I can skip every wedding I’m ever invited to because Ronnie died.”

He wraps an arm around her shoulder.

“I just miss him,” she whispers.

“You always will,” Cisco says against her forehead. “We both will. But Ronnie would want you to be happy. And eventually you’ll have to let yourself.”

Caitlin wrinkles her nose and jabs him gently in the ribs with her elbow. “I’ve moved on,” she protests.

Cisco doesn’t let go. “Mhmm,” he says. “Sure you have.”

She relents and relaxes against him. “I’m happy,” she says. “Here with my best friend.”

They stand quietly for a moment until Caitlin hears silver tapping against glass.

She nudges Cisco. “I think Joe’s starting his speech.”

He loosens his grip so they can both turn to look. “Well,” he says. “We definitely can’t miss that.”

Caitlin is careful to stand far enough that her elbow isn’t even brushing Cisco’s, belatedly self-conscious about the way they were touching before. Cisco is big on hugs and casual contact, and immune to embarrassment about PDA, but Caitlin prefers to restrict that to the privacy of one of their apartments or Star Labs. But when Joe starts talking about Barry and Iris teaching him how to love again, she can’t help but look over at Cisco, who’s watching her with his heart in his eyes. 

Caitlin reaches out and squeezes his hand. He doesn’t let her reclaim it until Joe proposes a toast to Barry and Iris.

9

It’s Frost who sees Cisco gets blown head over heels, and her cold heart cracks just a little at the sight of him unconscious on the ground.

Barry’s there already, hands hovering over Cisco’s head like he doesn’t know what to do. “Is he okay?” he asks Frost as she kneels down next to them.

Frost ignores him, resting her fingers against Cisco’s neck to check for his pulse, and then gently opening one of his eyes to check for pupil response. “We need to get him back to the lab,” she says brusquely, clamping a hand on Barry’s arm when he reaches for Cisco. “The slow way,” she says sternly. “He’s got a head injury. No speed.”

Barry slowly retracts his hand, still looking helpless, until Sara comes over. “Can I help?” she asks.

Frost looks up at her with cool eyes. “Not unless you have a backboard. We should really call an ambulance.”

Sara tips her head and grins. “I’ve got one of those, sort of. Just give me a minute.” She turns on her heel, one hand pressed against her ear. “Hey, Amaya. Can you bring the jump ship to my location? We need a ride…”

Caitlin stays by Cisco, the cold slowly dripping out of her system until she’s staring down at her torn dress and the demolished church in confusion. “What happened?” she asks Barry, who’s now sitting cross-legged and blank-eyed next to her.

“Nazis,” he reminds her flatly, and Caitlin flinches. “Yeah,” he says in that same empty voice. “I know.”

Caitlin manages to get Cisco to the med bay via Sara’s jump ship with relatively little jostling, and is now staring at the scans on her computer with a frown.

“He’s definitely got a concussion,” Caitlin says in her best doctor voice. “It’s not too bad, though. He’ll be out for a little while.”

“May I ask why you’re dressed like that?” Martin asks.

“Oh,” Caitlin looks down and tugs on the Frost jacket. “I become Killer Frost when I’m angry or scared and something tells me I’m going to be both of those before this is all over.”

“Astonishing,” Martin says quietly, and they both look down at Cisco’s prone form.

“Can you give me a minute?” she asks Martin, her gaze still locked on Cisco.

Martin pats her shoulder on his way out, and Caitlin waits until his footsteps fade before sitting in the chair next to Cisco.

She presses his palm between hers and tucks them under her chin, closing her eyes as she’s suddenly able to breathe again. “Cisco,” she whispers. “We really need you right now. I really need you.”

5

Besides a quick “Caitlin, you okay?” and “I’m fine, how’s your head?” there’s not much they can say in front of Harry and three relative strangers except fill everyone in on what’s going on. In reality, it’s only half an hour before Nate opens the pipeline, but it feels like hours with Harry bouncing his ball against the wall and bickering with Cisco. 

Cisco snags her arm as soon as they’re out and they hang behind the group. “Are you really okay?” he asks quietly. 

Caitlin nods, confused. “I’m not the one with a concussion,” she reminds him. 

Cisco shakes his head, fingers wrapping around her wrist and dark eyes serious. “I meant the Nazi thing.”

She looks away. “No, of course not.”

“Cait-“

“I’ll be fine,” she says more firmly. “We’ll be fine.”

It’s not fine.

_ “ _ Caitlin.”

Caitlin looks up to see Lily Stein walking towards them, pale in her black coat. “Lily, I-“ Caitlin’s lip trembles, and if it weren’t for Cisco’s steady hand on the small of her back, she thinks her legs might have given out.

Lily holds out her arms, and Caitlin steps forward to hug her. 

“I’m so sorry,” Caitlin chokes out. 

Lily squeezes, then gently pulls away. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Caitlin nods, leaning into Cisco as his hand returns to her back. “Anything.”

“I have a son.” Lily says. “We named him Ronnie.”

Caitlin’s whole body jerks, even though she already knew. “I know,” she whispers. “Ronnie would have been honored.”

Lily smiles. “I want you to be his godmother.”

Caitlin gapes at her, then presses her lips together, eyes suddenly damp again. “I’d love to,” she whispers.

“I’ll call you,” Lily says. “You should come over for dinner soon.” Caitlin nods and Lily reaches out to squeeze her hand, then walks back to her mother and husband. 

Cisco’s arm slides around her waist in an imitation of the hug they’d shared on the Waverider. “C’mon,” he says. “Let’s go home.”

After sending The Ray back to Earth-X, Cisco finds Caitlin at her computer, typing, her jacket draped over the back of her chair. 

“Hey,” he says.

Caitlin glances over. “I’m typing up my notes while everything’s fresh.” She grimaces. “I think tomorrow I might wake up feeling like this was all some horrific nightmare.”

“It kind of was,” Cisco says. He holds out his hand. “C’mere.”

Brow furrowed, Caitlin lets him lead her outside to the single bench under the single tree next to the parking lot. “What are we doing?”

“Sitting,” Cisco says, doing just that. “And whatever else you need.”

Caitlin drops down next to him, suddenly boneless. “I haven’t cried yet,” she says dully.

Cisco wraps an arm around her shoulder. “You never do until it’s all over,” he says kindly.

She leans into him.

“Cait?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s over.”

It’s like a dam breaking, or like Ronnie dying, or like realizing she had almost killed her best friend. She turns into Cisco’s shoulder and sobs. When the tears dry out, she whispers, “I feel like I’ve lost my last connection to Ronnie.”

Cisco’s hand tightens on her shoulder. “You lost more than that,” he says gently against her forehead. “But you still have me.”

Caitlin pulls away enough to see Cisco’s red eyes and damp cheeks. She grips his hand tightly. “But I almost lost you, too.” Her voice is trembling. “I can’t lose you, you’re all I have.”

Cisco frowns. “You have lots of people, Cait.”

But Caitlin’s mind is spinning out of control. “I almost killed you last spring, and you could have died today.” She looks at him with frantic eyes, her voice breaking, chest heaving. “I can’t lose you, Cisco.”

Cisco tugs both of his hands free and presses them against her cheeks. “I’m right here,” he says firmly. “Caitlin, look at me. I’m right here.”

Her breathing evens out. “She was going to kill you,” Caitlin says again. There’s no question she’s referring to Killer Frost. 

“But she didn’t,” Cisco says, softening his grip so he’s cradling her face. “We can talk about that some other day, okay? Focus on now. I’m here. I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Caitlin asks in a small voice, relaxing her white knuckled grip on his jacket. 

He kisses her forehead. “Of course.”

2

Cisco hands Caitlin a mug of hot chocolate, then sits next to her, hip to hip, on her sofa.

“Did you see Barry’s text?” he asks.

Caitlin shakes her head, cupping her mug close to her chest.

Cisco pulls his phone out of his pocket and shows her the photo Barry had sent of him and Iris with Diggle, Oliver, and Felicity in the park. “They actually got married without us,” he complains. “Joe is gonna be so pissed.”

A whisper of a smile passes over Caitlin’s face. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

Cisco shakes his head. “They’re definitely not getting their security deposits back. The reception, dinner, the cake,” he says mournfully. “Why can we never have something good?”

“We do have something good,” Caitlin says quietly. “It just doesn’t involve cake.”

Cisco sighs. “Do you think the baker will bring the cake to Star Labs? It’s still edible, right?”

Caitlin pats his knee. “You can ask Iris. They’re not leaving for their honeymoon until tomorrow.”

Cisco frowns at her. “How do you know that?”

“She told me before the funeral. They were going to leave tonight but they couldn’t get tickets. Tomorrow is the earliest there was a flight.” Caitlin leans her head on his shoulder. “You know, Ronnie and I were going to go to Tahiti, too. Mai tais on the beach.”

Cisco wraps his hand around hers. “I remember. Tahiti. It’s a magical place.”

“I’m glad they get to go,” Caitlin says into his shoulder. “Since I couldn’t.”

“Stop talking like that,” Cisco says. “You’re going to find someone great and have your own honeymoon with mai tais on the beach. You just have to, you know,” he waves their joined hands. “Meet the right person.”

Caitlin rolls her eyes. “I’ve met a bunch of people since Ronnie and none of them have been the right person.”

“I wasn’t aware there was deadline for meeting the right person,” Cisco says dryly. “You just need to give it time.”

“How much time?” she asks quietly. “Another five years? Ten? How long do I have to wait?”

Cisco rests his cheek on her head. “I don’t know, Cait.”

Caitlin sighs. “Can we talk about the other thing?”

“What other thing?” Cisco mumbles.

“The me almost killing you thing?”

Cisco stills, then slowly lifts his head up. “Now?”

“I need to apologize,” Caitlin says, swirling the remainder of her hot chocolate around the bottom of the mug.

“You’ve already apologized,” he says.

“How can you trust me again?” She turns watery eyes up to him.

Cisco shifts, turning to face her and pressing her hand against his chest. “I’m a trusting guy, okay? And I trust you more than anyone. Sidestepping the whole Frost isn’t you, and you aren’t Frost thing, you were under Savitar’s influence, in a dark place, and you obviously regret it.”

Caitlin sniffs, a tear escaping down her cheek. 

“And besides, Frost has been around for a while now and has made no move to kill any of us, so I think it’s all over and done with.”

Caitlin takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Cisco agrees, and holds his arm out so she can scoot back into his side. “Best friends,” he promises.

“Best friends,” Caitlin echos, and even though her heart’s still beating too fast and there are tears still burning her throat, she finally feels grounded again.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Hamilton" and "0952" is a song by Olafur Arnalds.
> 
> Come weep with me on tumblr @swallowthewhale about that side hug.


End file.
